How to get neighbor relations off to a great start

Moving to a new neighborhood can be overwhelming, but all your fears can be alleviated by following a few easy steps. These will enable anyone, even you, to form meaningful and positive relationships with the new neighbors.

1. Don't mow your grass. It's mostly weeds anyway, and besides, gas for the mower just isn't affordable these days. Your neighbors will respect your point of view and will grow to enjoy looking at your 3-foot tall mosquito breeding grounds.

2. Park lots of old cars in your driveway, and even illegally park them on the road in front of your house. Your neighbors will be impressed at the sight and will anticipate seeing what kind of vehicle will show up next.



3. Don't sweat it. If the neighbors would happen to pull out of their driveway and put a dent in a family friend's expensive vehicle, don't worry! Just take lots of pictures and call the cops. It's OK to make a scene by staring out the front windows and commenting about their motives.



4. It's OK to be very suspicious. If the cops come, be sure that they investigate whether or not the neighbors are illegal immigrants. You can never be too careful these days.



5. Above all, be respectful of their space, including the dirt yard and the dining room chairs in their driveway.